Catastrophe
by Michi-chan2
Summary: Jim is a panther and its up to Blair to help him, but who did it in the first place. Please review
1. Default Chapter

1 Disclaimer: I don't own Jim or Blair  
  
Catastrophe!!!  
  
THE LOFT:  
  
Blair stirred under the pile of multi-coloured blankets. Something was wrong, very wrong. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. And what the hell was that noise?! He turned round and slowly opened his eyes only to come face to face with a large black panther. He blinked. Nope, still there.  
  
He paused, looked at the panther, which was lounging next to him on the bed staring at him with clear pale blue eyes.  
  
Blair:………………….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*runs out of his room, slamming the door, keeping the panther from coming after him*  
  
Blair: JIM!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*No answer*  
  
Blair: *worriedly* Jim!  
  
*Still no answer*  
  
Blair: Ok, ok, don't panic, he's probably just gone out for a jog. Yeah, that's it. He'll be back any minute now *Looks at the front door hopefully* Yeah any time……….NOW! * The door stays stubbornly closed* Great, now what am I gonna do?  
  
*There comes a scratching behind his bedroom door and an angry growl*  
  
Blair: Damn it, where's my blessed protector when I need him?!  
  
*The door starts to open slowly*  
  
Blair: Oh. My. God. *Starts running around in circles* Whatdoido, whatdoido!!!!?????*Stops* Wait a goddamn cotton picking minute. Lets review; we have a black panther, with blue eyes, something familiar about that. What is it?  
  
*The door opens and the panther comes out, pounces on Blair, knocking him to the floor and stares at him impatiently.  
  
Blair: Jim?  
  
Panther/Jim: *Growl*  
  
Blair: My god. *Faints out right on the floor*  
  
Panther/Jim: *Sigh*  
  
*The panther/Jim tries everything to get Blair to wake up. Licks him, nudges him, jumps on him. Finally he gives up and just bites him on the nose.  
  
Blair: Ooowwww, what ya do that for?  
  
Panther/Jim: *Growl*  
  
Blair: How'd this happen?  
  
Panther/Jim: *Stares at him*  
  
Blair: Oh yeah, you can't talk*thinks* Oh I know! You could scratch it on the floor with your claws!  
  
Panther/Jim: *Gives him a glare that says, "What scratch my perfect (no pun intended) floor, you must be joking?!"*  
  
Blair: Oooookkaaaayyyy, not that then………ummmmm……….what about you try to type it on my laptop?  
  
Panther/Jim: *Growls*  
  
Blair: Was that a yes or a no? Oh I know you can growl once for yes and twice for no.  
  
Panther/Jim: *Gives him a look that says "and you thought that all up yourself, wow", then growls once*  
  
Blair: Cool*Gets laptop out* There you go  
  
Panther/Jim: *Types something with his nose*  
  
Blair: Awwwwww, you look sooo cute when you do that!  
  
Panther/Jim: *Snarl*  
  
Blair: *Backs up with his hands up in front of him* Ok, ok, you're not cute, not one little bit.  
  
Panther/Jim: *Snorts, goes back to typing*  
  
Blair: *Starts whistling and looking at the ceiling, then starts bouncing on the balls of his feet* God, no wonder you need me to do your reports for you. How long does it take you to write a simple message? You don't have to write an essay you know.  
  
Panther/Jim/computer: Your hair looks stupid when you've just woken up! Muahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahaha….etc  
  
Blair: *Glares* Thanks big guy, I'll remember that, next time you zone I'll let you be run over by a garbage truck  
  
Panther/Jim/computer: Did I say stupid, ha ha I meant lovely, beautiful, stunning, absolutely………  
  
Blair: Ok, ok, I'll let you off this time. *Puts hand to hair* Really? You think so? *Poses*  
  
Panther/Jim/computer: *Snorts* Don't push your luck, chief  
  
Blair: Do you remember how you got like this, man?  
  
Panther/Jim/computer: *Thinks, shrugs* Nope  
  
Blair: Oh, ok then. *Sits down and starts to have breakfast*  
  
Panther/Jim/computer: *Growls, bites him on the foot* Hey!  
  
Blair: Ow! What!? Oh yeah you're a panther, ok we can deal with this……….you could have cat food. Will whiskers be alright?  
  
Panther/Jim/computer: *Pounces on Blair, Blair falls backwards off his chair while his algae shake goes flying in the air and lands on Jim's head*  
  
Blair: You're supposed to drink it Jim  
  
Panther/Jim: *Snarl*  
  
Blair: *Looks at their position on the floor* Ah, Jim? You know this could be taken the wrong way you know  
  
Panther/Jim: *Stares* ………………  
  
Blair: Ok, are you ……you know……going to get off me now? Uh because now would be a good time coz well…….how can I put this……You're breath really stinks  
  
Panther/Jim: *Breaths in his face*  
  
Blair: *Coughs* Yeah Jim that was soooooo smart, you sure showed me  
  
Panther/Jim: *Growls*  
  
End of part one  
  
More still to come. Please review^_^ 


	2. um...more?

Blair: *Pushes Jim off him and starts backing off* Now Jim, there, there, nice kitty……  
  
*Jim runs at him, fangs showing*  
  
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*starts running*  
  
Blair jumps over tables, chairs, the sofa, voodoo masks and finally bangs face first into the wall.  
  
B: Oooowwwwww my nose. Jim, man?  
  
*No answer*  
  
Jim? Come on man growl or something you're freaking me out.  
  
*Still no answer*  
  
Blair looks round to see Jim staring at the wall  
  
B: What ya staring at Jim, you haven't zoned have you?  
  
J: *Points paw at the wall*  
  
B: *Looks at the wall*…………..ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crap *faints*  
  
Jim wanders over to Blair's prone body. Nudges him, doesn't work so he stepped on him, narrowly missing *clears throat* you know what.  
  
B: *Wakes up with a start* Hey watch it!!! I need that!!  
  
J: *Snorts*  
  
B: I won't be able to have babies now, and it's all you fault!! *Starts whimpering like a schoolgirl*  
  
Jim wanders over to the laptop and types:  
  
And I bet the world will be thanking me for that  
  
B: *Starts sobbing* You're always so mean to me *sobs some more*  
  
J: *Looks guilty, walks over to Blair again and licks him on the face*  
  
B: AHHHHHHHHHHHH STINKS, GET IT AWAY!!!! *Runs into his room and locks the door*  
  
J: *Sighs and types*  
  
God, can't do anything right around here  
  
He goes over to Blair's room and starts scratching the door (A/N: He'll ruin all the doors in the loft doing that)  
  
B: *Muffled sob* G'way  
  
Jim opens the door (A/N: Don't ask me how, he's just a clever little cat burglar)  
  
J: *Growls at the author*  
  
M-C: *Gulp*  
  
B: Hello?! Remember me?!  
  
M-C: Ok Blair-bear *under breath*actors  
  
Ok so Jim's in Blair-be….I mean Blair's room. Blair is sobbing on the bed cuddling a cuddly wolf that Jim won for him at a fair. He looked up to see Jim sitting in the doorway.  
  
B: *Sniffs* What ya want?  
  
J: *Growls softly*  
  
B: No you're not  
  
1 J: *Does in again, this time with big sad blue eyes*  
  
B: Oh ok. Come here and I'll rub your tummy  
  
Jim jumps on the bed next to Blair waiting for his tummy rub (A/N: What a big softy)  
  
B: *Rubs Jim's tummy* I forgive you  
  
J: *Purr*  
  
M-C: Ok that's enough of the mushy crap, I got a fic to write, so get acting!!  
  
B: Yes Ma'm  
  
Jim and Blair jump off the bed and rush into the living room.  
  
The wall reads:  
  
B…..  
  
B: Wow, a wall can read!?  
  
M-C: Do you mind?!  
  
B: *Hangs head* Sorry  
  
M-C: Aww, that's alright Blair-bear. *Clears throat* As I was saying…..  
  
The wall reads:  
  
Blair Sandburg……  
  
B: What?  
  
Wall: I haven't finished yet!  
  
B: Oh sorry, carry on  
  
W: Ok………..Blair Sandburg you did this……  
  
B: Hey, I didn't write on the wall, you did!  
  
W: I didn't mean this *points to self* I meant that *points at Jim*  
  
J: You're a wall you can't point  
  
W: Well……..you're an animal you can't talk. *Sighs* I don't get paid nearly enough for this  
  
M-C: You don't get paid at all  
  
W: Oh………..well ok, as I was saying, if I'm allowed to finish this time *looks pointy at Blair*  
  
B: Sure man, no prob  
  
W: Blair Sandburg, you did this, you were hypnotised by the TV (A/N: And they say TV's bad for you) and turned the grumpy one *growl from Jim* into that  
  
B: Bummer  
  
J: *Anime fall over*  
  
B: How do I change him back?  
  
W: Look I might ACT like I know everything, but it doesn't mean I DO  
  
M-C: This gives a whole new meaning to "the writing's on the wall" doesn't it?  
  
*We interrupt this fic for an urgent news flash.  
  
Michi-Chan has just been carted off to the funny farm. We will now have a seconds silence in memory of her……ok back to the fic, which she just had time to write before THEY came for her*  
  
B: *Looking up* That was strange  
  
J: *Whacks him around the head with his paw*  
  
B: *Rubbing his head* What?!  
  
J: What about me, I can't stay like this forever!  
  
B: Well its not that bad *After the look Jim gives him* No, no I mean it, it could you know  
  
J: How?  
  
B: Uh……………..well……..you……………..um……….aha, you could have been turned into a toad  
  
J: That's the worst you could come up with?  
  
B: Well……………yeah. I think you look quite good like that  
  
J: Really?  
  
B: Yeah, more hair  
  
J: *Gives Blair a glare that would make paint crack*  
  
B: It was a joke! *Cowers* Don't hurt me!  
  
J: *Goes into Blair's room. Sounds of things breaking. He comes out looking pleased with himself*  
  
B: I deserved that  
  
  
  
Sorry this part took so long, I have really bad writers block when it comes to this fic. Hope you liked it, Please review.  
  
You'll probably have another long wait for the next part, but I'll try to hurry up. ^_^; 


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